"Who Haunts This (Crack) House?"

Here's a little review of a comic I found being sold at one of Brooklyn's famous stoop sales: DC Comics Presents # 19 (March 1980). Every issue of this series showcased Superman teaming up with a different DC character, this issue it was one of my favorites - Batgirl! It's about time he hung out with her. Really. He hangs out with Batman all the frickin' time! Those two can't seem to be separtated. But if you were Superman and you had your choice of either hanging out with some jerk with personality issues or a flashy ravishing redhead who's out fighting crime for excitement, who would you choose? Batgirl, of course. She's fun! And if Superman was gay (things he did Pre-Crisis sure make you wonder...) he'd just want her around because she's such a FAB ICON!

Anyways, DC listened to its fans and gave us what we all wanted:


The set-up for their meeting is a party. A good ol' fashioned end of the 70's drug and sex binge in the style of the infamous Club 54! The Comics Code Authority did a good job of dusting up any clear clues as to what really happened at this Caligulian drug-fest but you can still read between the panels quite well!

It starts off with some kooky prospector coming across a mirage that turns into an abandoned Victorian (and Russian-style?) mansion in the middle of the desert.


He lays claim to it, sells off a bunch of its contents and decides to hold a celebrity-fueled mega-event to celebrate. As you can see there is the Queen of Disco herself, Donna Summer!

Lots of ugly old men would hold these types of parties so they could get laid. This one's been in the desert a long time.

Then there's party animal Clark Kent and librarian-turned-congresswoman Barbara Gordon. Um, real lives of the party - yep.

Well, Barbara, you BETTER get some time to get down on that dance-floor and enjoy the throbbing disco-beat while you can. The 1980's will not be kind to you (and your spinal chord)!

Things start to go wrong!


Someone must have spiked the booze. They think they're drinking blood now. Disco-trippy!


Whoa! This party is getting out of control!

Obviously, they're all totally jealous of Batgirl!

Keep yapping, old man. Batgirl's even starting to feel it!


So who sold them all the bad coke? Superman thinks he gets his answers during this particular bad-trip!


Obviously the kid that owned this comic at one time had a strong reaction against colorist Jerry Serpe's use of pink.



And it ends in a head-throbbing coke come-down:





Added Advertising Bonus!


Thanks, Superman and friends. Guess you aren't called the World's Greatest Superheroes because of any of your overwhelming environmental concerns. Superman, do you really need to have FOUR vehicles when you can fly to wherever you need to go?

I see the Joker and Penguin have their own vehicles too. Nicely detailed with their logos so they can't be missed when they're trying to make their getaways. That's probably why they're not in the picture. Batman and Robin repossesed these wheels after throwing their self-promoting asses in jail. You would think with all his money though, Bruce Wayne would get them repainted or something. It would be real embarrassing if you were Robin and you got pulled over because you were mistaken for some evil-doing arch nemesis of Batman.

Wonder Woman, naturally, the princess that she is, has the hottest car of all. I'd like her to give me a spin sometime!

Captain Marvel, don't fret. I like yours too. But I'm a little worried that when you say your magic word that your pimp-mobile's gonna turn into a Gremlin or some soccer-mom's van.

Superman, as I've noted before you have a lot of wheels. Too bad , they all suck. I thought you'd have better taste. Really, that van of yours is shit.

And I see that these cars are being advertised as being "great fun in your pocket." Vroooommm!

"Is that a Corgi superhero car in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"