This next story in the collection, originally from Superboy #22 (Sept/Oct 1952), really highlights the crass douche-baggery of the young Superman. Panel by panel, let's get right into it!
Hmmmm. "Congo Gold." I'm thinking Smallville meets Heart of Darkness. Watching Lana Lang look deep into her own tortured, vaccuous high-school girl soul should be thrilling, but I doubt the school board is going to want to explain the play's racial undertones to the public.
Wow, Lana just strolls into school...with a spear... and a knife... and a frickin' blowgun dart!
"I didn't mean to bring that!" Yeah, you meant to leave it in your locker and secretly use it on some other Smallville chick who happens to look at Superboy!
Superboy"s first dick move in this story. Instead of using his super breath to simply move the falling dart away from Lana, he stands there and reads the supplemental note. Then he thinks about using "quick action!"
So Superboy wears his costume under his other costume.
Glad he finally took off the Thurston Howell threads.
Oooooo, perfect! Lana passes out from some roofie dart and Superboy suddenly shows up to carry her away!
So Superboy "streaks" out of school again, this time with a passed out girl in his hands...
Then he likes to use his powers in order to peep and eavesdrop!
Mr. Lang, you shouldn't keep African tribal weapons lying around your house. Haven't you read the statistics on tribal weapon accidents in the home???
Mr. Lang, what do you choose??? Your daughter's life or the secret government-sponsored coup in some unnamed African country? Oh, you do not realize it, but you have no choice. Superboy will control all actions and outcomes, while the entire world is ignorant to his mastery and manipulation.
Speaking of which...
"Ok, guys! With one day to go, we're going to scrap the ENTIRE play! We'll make it up as we go! I've been hanging out with this one guy, Ed Wood...it's gonna be great."
Um...kids, Superboy doesn't seem to grasp that people over 8 aren't going to be flocking to see a Snow White play; and he doesn't seem to know the difference between Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, or the difference between dwarves and midgets...you might not want him to direct your high school play...just saying!
PS: Lana might be dead for all we know. This is where is could turn into a good "Weekend at Bernie's" story!
This was all a ploy for Clark (Superboy) Kent to change the play! Switching out the dark and primitive African jungle for fanciful European civilization. Look how he quickly he decimates the environment of Africa and replaces it with a looming manicured castle. This story is rife with Platonian political, racial, and colonial overtones!
Super-liar! Prevaricator! (I just wanted to use this word in a blog, and now was my chance!)
Lies on top of lies!
Oooo, midgets? Everyone gets excited for midgets!
Watch out, little people! Superboy is on a quest to round you up!
"They're in 'short' supply..." works on so many levels.
Midgets are probably in short supply because of some other disastrous scam Superboy dreamed up and thought it had to include them.
Org and Norg: are they brothers or little lovers? Hiding out from the watchful eye of society.
So, the hearts of little people are enlarged, and yet he wonders why they are in short supply for his schemes. He's kinda killing them off!
Axel, Maxel, and Jaxel??? Is it a law that if you give birth to little people, that you must give them ridiculous rhyming names???
Workers of every sort, beware! Superboy has the capability to replace you and the rest of your fellow work crew! His output is about 10,000% times more productive; plus, he never has to work overtime, nor does he tire, nor need a vacation, nor even a lunchbreak (he doesn't have to eat).
Ooooo, watch it Mr. Lang. Those "funny midgets" Org and Norg will cut you in the school-alley afterward for laughing at them.
This is soooo "Weekend at Bernie's!"
The whole day has passed and Lana has been in a coma the entire time. After rewriting the play, redecorating the stage, auditioning a crew of midgets, Superboy finally decides to start working on finding a cure for Lana. Lucky girl.
Always go with your first guess! Be afraid- Superboy is a demon! He will control the events of your life. He may even make you act in a play while you are in a coma!
Oh, I love the witch doctor's reaction! "He's just a boy, a human boy....SHOOT him, because that's what us primitive people do, wamba wamba!"
Haha, Superboy doesn't correct them! "Yep, I'm a demon." Probably the first time he hasn't lied or went out of his way to deceive someone.
Superboy, answer your cellphone! Monsanto (big,evil corporate farming giant) wants to hire you and make use of your unorthodox growing techniques!
Wow! What teenage boy doesn't dream of having a "super-friction" super-power??? Go at it, Superboy!
The people of Smallville have no cultural taste. Look at all of them, at the drop of a hat, sitting there. The play could literally be the instruction guide to my Casio Exilim digital camera, and Superboy would be standing up on stage and reading it in mis-pronounced Spanish, and they'd still flock to see him. Media whores. (If this was taking place today, the entire crowd would be waving their iPhones in the air taking vids and pics.) I hate them.
This is soooo Being John Malkovich! Human Puppetry!!! Themes of identity and control!! Are we who we think we are, or who others think we are?? Is it Lana that is the actor, or Superboy who is pulling the strings??? Is Lana just sleeping through life as Superboy controls her every move???? Do any of us have free will??? Argh!!!!
I'm intrigued that no one has realized that Clark, one of the key cast members, has been missing this entire time.
Slip her some untested drugs, then the tongue. I like your style, Superboy!
They'll probably win a few Tonies for this theatrical tripe!
Mr. Lang tries one more time to take Lana home...and fails.
And finally, the story ends with Lana, who was essentially a human prop in the play gets all smug with Clark because she got some public sedentary action from a super control freak. If I was him, I'd be, like, "Bitch, please!"
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